The One Broken Thing
by Voodoo-Radio
Summary: Sasuke's an addict out for revenge and each of Naruto's multiple personalities play a different role in Sasuke's quest. It's a story of sex, drugs, heartbreak & murder. Oh, with a hipster café at the center of it all. Or, alternatively, the crime-solving, coffee shop-employed university students Naruto AU that no one asked for. Naruto/Sasuke main.
1. If I Could Write You a Song

**Notes: **Modern AU that starts out silly and is sort of affectionate parody and then becomes quite serious. Like _Naruto_ itself, ha. Even though this is an AU, there are vague spoilers for the most recent chapters of the _Naruto_ manga.

The setting is a conflation of several places I have recently lived—a mixture mostly of Anchorage, Brisbane and Nagoya. I draw chapter illustrations that can be seen on the AO3 version of the story and on my tumblr~ Link is in my profile~!

**Warnings:** This story contains swearing, and at times deals with themes of mental illness, murder, drugs, abortion, and sexual situations including dubious consent and underage.

This story does contain explicit sex scenes, but they are only viewable on AO3. See my profile for the link.

This is primarily Naruto/Sasuke (narusasunaru), with past Naruto/Sakura, Naruto/Gaara and Orochimaru/Sasuke being important to the plot, and side pairings including Sakura/Lee and Shikamaru/Temari.

If any of these things are likely to bother you, please think carefully before continuing to read.

* * *

**Chapter 1: If I Could Write You a Song**

* * *

_Monday, December 19, 2011_

_When I read Kurama's entries, I'm fully aware of the implication that he knows more than I do—that Sasuke confides in him, but not me._

_Kurama could be lying to make me mad... it's a common thing. I hate the thought, though, that Sasuke being back wouldn't make anything better; that Sasuke could still possess a bewildering amount of anguish I was unaware of._

_Sometimes I write to Kurama, pleading, for any details, but out of spite he ignores me._

_At work, I ask Sasuke directly about his life._

_We always fight._

* * *

Sasuke yelled, the most emotion Naruto had seen from him in a while, stepping over the broken cups and thrusting a broom at him, "You don't do the books right, you make the shittiest lattes here, and when I finally got that job at Starbucks that had _benefits_, you had to bring me back to this dump! For me, when things finally, _finally _start to feel okay again you ruin everything." That was how Sasuke argued—using a series of immature insults to wrap around legitimate complaints.

Naruto screamed back, "All the times I had to sit and stare at you from the chairs by the fireplace listening to horrible white-guy-with-acoustic-guitar songs! The shit I put up with for you!"

"It's better than the local bands this hellhole hosts! Everything about Starbucks was better than this place!"

"You broke all our cups!"

"Don't you know how to use that thing?" Sasuke indicated to the broom, "Fucking clean it up!"

"I'm always cleaning up after you."

* * *

Naruto, with his newly-acquired position of shift manager, was able to upgrade from his POS sedan to a POS SUV, which was good considering that this winter had been unusually frigid.

Like, freshly-returned-Sasuke frigid.

Sasuke, as it happened, came to the café every day in his white and gray beater, pulling his apron out from stacks of garbage in the backseat. Although he would never admit it, Naruto knew that Starbucks paid better, offered medical insurance, and might have helped Sasuke finance something a little nicer.

It had been a week since the "I hate you and the fact that you got me fired from Starbucks and made me come back to Konoha Brews" incident which led to the café's dishes all being destroyed, and Tsunade had accordingly docked his pay—Naruto had, of course, told her he was solely responsible, and was sort of offended that she didn't even doubt him, like he was especially dumb and she had been long waiting for such an event. To be fair, though, Naruto knew a fight between him and Sasuke was imminent since Sasuke had returned.

Anyways, Naruto couldn't spot Sasuke's POS this particular morning, so he went inside with a frown. The 3rd Key, Hinata, was there, and she fixed him with an expression that lacked any glares/highlights and made her seem like she was blind and looking right past him.

He sighed. She was probably waiting... for a question about Sasuke... any... second... now...

"Where's Sasuke? I miss my favorite constant-case-of-the-Mondays."

Hinata laughed at him, but probably because he was being stupid and not because he was actually funny. "Called in sick," she said.

That meant that, after his shift, Naruto put the shitty to-be-tossed-out donuts in a bag and went searching for Mr. Mondays using the address they had on file for him.

* * *

Yeah, that turned out to be _fail_. The address was that of a business, a fake. Naruto had begun to get annoyed and hungry, and barring a miracle, was unlikely to stop eating the donuts before he found Sasuke for real. It took him a retardedly long time to consider ringing Sasuke.

"Yo," he said to a slurred hello, "Where are you?"

"How did you get this number?" was Sasuke's response.

"I'm your boss, of course I know it. Where are you?"

"At home. Sick. Didn't you get the message?" Sasuke sounded annoyed, like he was thinking about how this sort of thing would never be a problem at Starbucks.

Fucking Starbucks, thought Naruto in the recesses of his mind, with their hipster music and holiday drinks and nice décor that was more than just signs made by hippies gluing painted wooden letters that said 'Konoha' onto collages of leaf photos from magazines.

"Yeah fucking right," Naruto said at last, when Sasuke offered no more explanation, "Last time I checked, McDonalds wasn't renting out to college kids." He left out the part about looking in the bathrooms, just in case.

"Oh, must have messed up a number somewhere. I'll fix it when I feel better. Bye!"

"Wait, Sasuke!" But it was too late, that asshole had hung up on him, and repeated attempts to call him back were met with _'this is Sasuke. I don't check my voicemail, so don't even bother.'_

* * *

Naruto got lucky around 9pm, which was right about when he was going to maybe consider that he should head back home and pretend that his life didn't revolve around Sasuke... every _single _minute. He figured he would give it one or two more hours, tops.

He decided to take the back streets near the river, and that's where he saw it, the_ SS POS_, in a parking lot at the entrance of a campground.

Was that jerk out on a camping trip?! Naruto pulled in right next to Sasuke's car, and grabbed his flashlight from the glove compartment. He was going to find Sasuke, and maybe even... what? Maybe even what? Get him fired? Again?

Naruto didn't like thinking about repercussions. If he thought about things like 'why am I chasing Sasuke into the dark woods when he calls in sick?' he might have to walk down paths of self-discovery.

Paths in the dark woods were much safer than that.

* * *

Naruto was doing a victory dance behind a tree when the state troopers left. The people at this camping ground sucked. He didn't really think yelling "Sasuke!" over and over and knocking on people's tent poles actually merited phoning the police.

The fact that someone like himself, with bright blond hair and an orange apron on, was able to hide from the officers responding, made him feel no less than a ninja.

"What do you want, loser?" said Sasuke, who had somehow appeared, and somehow found him. It was like... he was better at this shit than Naruto. Fucking show-off.

Naruto was slow, so it took him a long time to realize that he wasn't dreaming and that Sasuke was really in front of him. "You're here," he said dumbly.

"_You're_ here. Not that I'm completely surprised by this," he sorta-snorted, "I'm pretty sure I have a solid case for a restraining order."

"You called in sick, but you were actually out camping!" Naruto whispered harshly, ignoring Sasuke's comment. "You could be fired for this!"

This time, Sasuke snorted seriously. "What would happen then, hmm? You'd come declare your undying love for me and beg me to come back as I made sandwiches at the campus Subway?"

Naruto flushed, but it would've been impossible to see in the darkness—Sasuke was barely a blue figure in the moonlight.

"I bet you'd make really awful sandwiches!" Naruto said.

"That's what you're replying to? The sandwiches bit?"

"So what if I am?!" Naruto screeched, "Why are you out here, camping, anyways?"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "This isn't a hobby."

"What?"

"I live here."

* * *

Sure as shit, it seemed like Sasuke had been living in a tent for a few months. The two of them sat amongst his clothes and books, a lantern between them.

Naruto wanted to say things like 'why are you homeless?' and 'is there anything I can do to help?' and 'come live with me' which suspiciously kept trying to end in 'forever and ever' in his mind. Instead, he settled on "How do you do your homework?" Their university was on holiday, but the tent suggested long-term. That in itself was something. Naruto wasn't sure about this particular spot, but a lot of camping grounds in the area closed in January due to the weather.

"Well," said Sasuke, smiling without pleasantness, "I used to have a job where I could use free Wi-Fi and plug in my shit."

It was actually pretty worrisome to Naruto that his second thought after that statement was 'we should stop charging for our Wi-Fi...' right after he thought the prerequisite 'fucking Starbucks' fare, naturally.

"You... you could have said something... we would do anything for you..." By 'we' he mostly meant himself, but not in a bad way. He just couldn't speak for others.

"Not after I left Konoha's, you wouldn't. Did you ever notice how much our coffee fucking sucks? Seriously, Starbucks is famous for a reason. Our local organic bullcrap tastes, well, like bullcrap."

"Stop it, Sasuke, just stop it." Naruto pressed his palms into his eyes in frustration. There was a time for Sasuke to be his rival and for their conversations to be composed of banter and nonsense. This was serious, though. "What happened to your brother's friends? I thought you were staying with him and those guys...?"

"My brother's dead."

Naruto sprung up and knotted his brows together. The tent shook. "I—I'm—"

"Shut up. Don't you give me your fucking pity. You don't know shit."

"I'd know a whole lot more if you actually told me things! Me and Sakura and everyone too, we're your friends!" He held back comments about Kurama, and asking what that asshole may have been privy to.

"No, no you're not. I had my reasons for quitting and leaving, and you always have to chase after me and try to rescue me from myself. Did it ever occur to you that I could make my own decisions? That I might not want to be stuck in our fucking town at our fucking shop with the same fucking people we've known our _whole fucking lives?"_

Naruto shook his head, because, really, it never did. Sasuke was melodramatic, sure, but he was cared about and Naruto's best friend and competitor for everything. He couldn't fathom that the same kid who bragged when he got his driver's license first and who rubbed it in Naruto's face that he only had to take the High School Graduating Qualifying Exam once to Naruto's twice could want a life where that wasn't the case.

"Look, just, come to my house tonight, yeah?"

"No, fuck you. I'm not your charity case and I don't—"

And while it was usually the case that Naruto was one-upped and never listened to, Sasuke stopped talking once their eyes met. Naruto, who sensed that he was a part of some super-rare cosmic event where he was actually getting in the last word, unzipped the tent and crawled out before Sasuke could change his mind. It was fucking cold, anyways, and Sasuke wasn't stupid. (Which is why he put out the lantern before following Naruto to the parking lot. Things like that, left to Naruto, would result in disaster; he was already a walking weapon of mass destruction without any help. Naruto himself thought this often, but only after Sasuke had done the smart thing.)

* * *

"No seriously, did you get this from Konoha's? Tastes like shit. Next paycheck, I'm buying your ass some VIA packets. I think they're still selling the Pumpkin Spice ones."

Naruto scoffed at the comment, and shoved aside his long-abandoned-for-the-holidays homework. Wait, that shit was done! The semester was over and soon enough his table would be littered with new homework to avoid. "Too bad you didn't have those health benefits long enough to get a new personality."

"Too bad all of the health benefits in the world couldn't get you a new face."

"Oh my God, what are we, like, in 5th grade?" Naruto said, but scratched at the scars on his cheeks regardless. He sat in the chair adjacent to Sasuke's. Their knees touched.

He opened his mouth to say something about Sasuke's predicament, but Sasuke beat him to it. "Don't, okay? I don't want to talk about it."

"You're fine with taking advantage of my kindness, but you won't give me just a little in return?"

"Yeah... something like that."

Naruto sighed dramatically and made a stupid face. "Well, I guess if I'm going to be the Sexless Innkeeper, you might as well eat too. Here, I got these for you earlier." He handed over a brown paper bag.

Sasuke looked inside. "It's half of a donut."

"Yeah, it was a good one too."

"It's frozen."

"It was in my car, okay? Just eat the goddamned thing." They had taken their own cars to Naruto's house so Sasuke didn't see the wax papers belonging to the other 11 or so donuts Naruto had already eaten.

"Whatever."

* * *

There were rules from forever ago that meant that they were never to speak of what happened next.

"You're too warm," Sasuke murmured under Naruto's arm.

Naruto laughed. "That's because you're cold-blooded." He couldn't stop smiling, because he was nostalgic for the nights they had spent together as kids posturing and dreaming and staying up until the sun rose. Holding this doucher in his arms was comfortable and familiar, and he closed his eyes, relaxed.

* * *

In the morning, they disentangled, and neither of them acknowledged the fact that they had spent the night cuddling. However, Naruto remained the Sexless Innkeeper. Sasuke was gone when Naruto emerged from the bathroom.

Not that Naruto wanted to be anything more than the Sexless Innkeeper, of course. It would've just been more settling to his stomach if he knew where Sasuke was, at all times.

* * *

Even though Naruto and Sasuke worked together, it proved to be difficult to corner Sasuke and press him for more info. The blond'd see him, rush up to him, and when he blinked, find himself alone. Seriously, Sasuke seemed to have some_ for serious_ ninja skills!

On this day, though, Naruto had no excuses. It was Sasuke's day off, like, for _really _reals, and he had no honest or false reason to see him.

It was still slow since it was neither early morning nor lunchtime, and Naruto fiddled with the radio while Sakura made them both Wedding Cake White Mochas.

_If I could write you a song to make you fall in love, _  
_I would already have you up under my arm, _  
_I used up all of my tricks, _  
_I hope that you like this, _  
_But you probably won't, _  
_You think you're cooler than me._

"Yeah," said Naruto, "This is my jam!"

"This? _This _is your kinda music?" Sakura lifted a delicate eyebrow as she passed over his waxy paper cup. "I'm pretty sure if you want to own this place someday you have to like less mainstream music."

"Pfft," Naruto replied, after taking a sip. He raised the cup to her to show appreciation. "Granny talks a lot of hippie bullshit, but she's just as vain as everyone else. How do you think she looks so young? Botox." He continued when Sakura giggled. "And I'm not knocking those knockers, but that? That's all surgery."

Naruto had no idea how old Tsunade really was of course, but in this here, the two-thousands, she talked about Woodstock and building up her business and Naruto surmised she was born no later than 1950.

"Oh my God, Naruto, stop!" Sakura squealed, and he smiled to himself in return. He liked her; always had liked her. Like Sasuke, Sakura had been a part of Naruto's life from times immemorial.

Their new dishes had yet to come in from the supplier, so everything was served with disposable ware. And while no one had really said much, and Naruto knew that eclectic non-matching silverware attracted lots of 19 year olds with MacBooks, he was actually surprised to hear some girl say, as she walked out into the snow, "Love the picnic vibe, you guys. Picnic in winter, genius."

Naruto was having an aneurysm, so Sakura replied, "Thanks!" with cheerfulness. "Come back soon."

In response to the face he made at her, Sakura said to Naruto: "Shut it. When you become owner, you'll have to keep this café in business, you know? Don't be cozy with the Man, like Sasuke is."

"I—I resent that, Sakura! I would never let this place become the next Starbucks! But ha ha, it's funny how Sasuke's mood swings made this place even more anti-establishment."

"Sasuke's mood swings?"

"Yeah. I took the fall, but he was the one that broke all of our shit when he was having a fit of emo."

She sighed, "Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"Sasuke's as predictable as the sunset."

"Hey, Naruto," she segued, probably innocently, even though Naruto mourned the death of Sasuke as the conversation topic, "Me and some of the guys from Interpersonal Comm are having a party this weekend. Wanna come?"

"You mean like Lee and those guys?"

"Yep. It's gonna be, like, this 'before the holidays end' send up. It's essentially a house party with poker and food and booze."

Booze meant _rum & coke_, because that was the sort of refined taste 22 year olds had for their liquor. Naruto probably couldn't have named off wine types or cocktails if he tried.

"Will there be chicks?"

"El-oh-el," Sakura said. She often talked Internet-speak with Naruto, which wasn't as weird as it sounded (though totally as stupid). They were surrounded by kids watching YouTube videos all day, after all. "I'm not sure. Probably. I'm just hoping things get out of control and Officer Hatake comes by."

Naruto scoffed, but said "I'm in!" Then he smiled. He needed some relaxation and some alcohol and maybe to get laid? He was kinda obsessed these days, and he didn't know wherefore or why.

* * *

The next day, Naruto saw Sasuke as he came in in the afternoon, to relieve the morning staff.

"Hey," he said, and Sasuke grunted in response. "Hey, so, uh, are you going to Sakura and them's party?"

"No."

"Really? You should. It's like, I dunno, our café's informal Christmas/New Year's party. Sakura told me it's gonna be some guys from school and like, most everyone who works here." This was true; she said this when she had written down the address after her shift ended.

"I know. That's why I'm not going."

"You should come," Naruto whined, "It might be fun and you could forget your problems for a bit and—"

"Shut up, Naruto." Sasuke sneered at him, "Don't act like you're my fucking social worker. You don't know what you're talking about, my '_problems_.'"

"Fuck, okay, forget to take your happy pills?"—Sasuke rolled his eyes—"I have, I dunno, a gift for you, so like, it would've been cool to give it to you there."

"Yeah, well, I'm not going. I have something that day anyways. Really important." Naruto didn't believe him.

"Whatever. When can I give it to you?" Naruto felt goosebumps on his arms after Sasuke replied with only a raised eyebrow. "The gift, I mean."

"Tomorrow?" Sasuke tried.

"Sure! And don't worry man, you don't have to get me anything in return or anything."

Sasuke smiled at him, and it was eerie and kinda suss, and it made Naruto shiver when he said, "Don't worry, Blondie. I got something for you."

* * *

"Open it when you get home," Sasuke said, in the break room. "I want it to be a surprise."

"Thanks!" Naruto beamed. "Here's yours. Go ahead, open it now!" He handed Sasuke a wrapped box, and the other young man opened it tentatively.

"It's a Wi-Fi card..."

"Merry late Christmas!"

Sasuke glared at him. "You wanted to give this to me in public? Where all of our stupid friends would ask, '_why you need that, Sasuke? What happened to your Internet, Sasuke_?'"

Naruto swallowed. What a paranoid freak!

"You never think about these kinds of things, you moron. You didn't... tell anyone, did you?" Sasuke accused, eyes black and furious.

"N—no!"

"Good. See you around." Sasuke took his box and Wi-Fi card and pushed out of the break room. Naruto stood still, stunned and dumbstruck, holding the red and green gift bag he had received. He never understood Sasuke, granted, but why didn't Sasuke understand Naruto? He only wanted the best for Sasuke. He would never tell people private things like that, not unless he knew that Sasuke's life was in danger...

Which it very well could've been, considering the ground was slippery with packed snow and temperatures at night dropped below zero. He was going to get that asshole to move in with him, no matter what it took. Besides, Sasuke was fucking crazy and too uptight to ask for the help he needed.

* * *

When Naruto sat on his bed that evening, he dumped out the bag's contents.

It was about seven Starbucks gift cards and Pumpkin Spice VIA packets. "Just add hot milk" it said on the box, and Naruto groaned.

* * *

_Friday, December 30, 2011_

_Have fun at your party tomorrow, little bitch. By the way, since you're too stupid to ask Sasuke the right questions, I'll let you in on something._

_Itachi was murdered and Sasuke is out for revenge._

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

Chapter Tracklist:

**Mike Posner** - Cooler Than Me


	2. On Providence

**Notes:** To view the art for this chapter, please check out the AO3 version of the story or my tumblr, links are on my profile!

* * *

**Chapter 2: On Providence**

* * *

_Friday, September 9, 2005_

_I mean, like, Gaara was such an asshole! Before I could even think, my fist reacted. I punched him straight in his stupid face!_

_Kurama was there and I withdrew. I didn't want to be involved, anyways. Or maybe I did. I don't know. I couldn't move, and I just sat inside Kurama, watching, just watching, through his eyes, like they were windows._

_I didn't feel any of the pain from the blows—not until I was already in the nurse's office, being treated for a bloody nose. We were both being lectured by some disciplinary officer who stood between us while we sat on beds opposite each other._

_Gaara bit his bottom lip._

_Sticky—_

"Hey babe—" Naruto paused his pen "—Who gave you that?" Lady Tsunade said, leaning over the counter and peering at Naruto's black eye. She looked very much like a concerned mother, and Naruto tried his best not to long for her.

Naruto pouted and looked away. "Gaara."

"Gaara? You still fighting with that kid? If you keep that up, you'll get suspended again." Tsunade frowned.

Naruto muttered something.

"Louder, boy."

"I said, 'I _did _get suspended!'"

"Serves you right for fighting. Did you tell Iruka yet?" She pointed her thumb towards the phone on the wall, right by the clipboards and drink special signs.

"No." The school had called Iruka dozens of times, but Iruka had never answered. Naruto was a bit of a latch-key kid, though, so he was used to it. The principal held him in detention for the rest of the day and then instead of walking straight home, Naruto had gone to Konoha Brews.

Konoha Brews was Naruto's favorite place. He loved the smell, coffee and cinnamon. He loved the sound, the whirring of drinks being made and teenagers typing. He loved Tsunade and her employees too. He had been going to Konoha Brews since he was twelve with the allowance Iruka'd give him for cleaning the house or doing yard work. Even as sophomores, he and Sakura and Sasuke would still meet there after classes to doodle and do their stupid high school homework, and they would drink coffee and pretend to be much older and cooler than they really were. And when they talked about being college students who all lived together and worked together, Tsunade chuckled and didn't dissuade them.

Tsunade put her hands on her hips and frowned at the boy. Naruto's mood was shit, but he wasn't going to snap at her. He closed his diary and slid it into his backpack. Then he laid his head on the counter and frowned.

"Well, I'm sure he'll discipline you properly. You need to stay away from Gaara, Naruto."

"He's not so bad." Naruto said, sort of surprising himself. It was like that, though, like, when he felt intensity at a situation, he found that writing about it in his diary made all his thoughts seem stupid and weak and he didn't really even mean them in the first place. Gaara wasn't really so bad, they just could not get along. At _all_.

Besides, it was Gaara's fault that he elicited something sick out of Naruto, something like only Sasuke had done before. Something that made Naruto sleep in the fetal position, hands squeezing each other tight between his legs.

And although the doctor's advice had helped for years—_years!_—Naruto felt ashamed that he couldn't keep Kurama held back, swallowed down. He barely remembered the incident, because that was how Kurama worked—did all the fun fighting shit and left Naruto with the repercussions and not much else.

The bell above the door rang, and Tsunade waved at whoever entered. Naruto knew it was his friends by the gust that hit him as they ran to him.

"Hey," Sakura said, flopping into the stool next to Naruto. She draped her arm over his blond head. "We heard about what happened from Chouji. You kicked Gaara's ass?"

Naruto pouted again.

"He gave you that black eye, though?" She asked, without needing an answer. "I heard you gave him two."

"Not like you could tell with Gaara's face," said Sasuke, who took the seat on the other side of Naruto.

Naruto pushed his face into the polished wood and laughed. Fucking Sasuke, for real. God, Naruto loved him.

"Hey," said Sasuke, conspiratorially. "Me and Sakura have fifteen dollars."

Naruto sat up. "Really?"

"Yep."

"Hey! Lady Tsunade!"

"Yeah?"

"We want coffee today!"

She laughed at them. "So you actually brought money this time? Cute, cute. What'll you have?"

Sakura beamed. "Wedding Cake White Mochas!"

Tsunade nodded, "All right, all right."

"When we work here, we can have them all the time!" Sakura beamed again. Sasuke rolled his eyes. At the super-awesome-mature age of 16, he was too good for sweet drinks. Naruto pushed him off the stool.

* * *

_Saturday, December 31, 2011_

_Happy New Year. My resolution is to . . ._

* * *

"There aren't enough life boats!" Naruto screamed as he held Sakura and Gaara in his arms. They were standing on Lee's couch. Naruto leaned close to Sakura and said, "Women and children need to get on the boats first. Gaara and I will find another way!"

"Are you sure? I—I don't want to leave you, my love."

"It's the only way." Naruto pushed her off of the couch and into the awaiting arms of Shikamaru.

"Naruto!" She screamed, "Narutoooooooo!"

"Madame, get ahold of yourself. I'll escort you; you'll be okay." Shikamaru said. He made sure that when he took Sakura to the other couch, where Ino, Hinata, and Temari were sitting, he avoided stepping on the carpet directly. The carpet was the Titanic's damage—holes and weak floorboards and water. To avoid them both dying, he made sure to only step on pillows and blankets on the floor.

It was New Year's Eve, and 2011 was almost 2012. Everyone was already drunk as shit, but since the countdown was still a ways off, there was time to play.

This was a tradition—Naruto, even at 22 years old, was spunky and energetic and liked playing. Reenacting popular movies was something he did that his friends loved, usually because it was ghetto-ass and took them to places around town they normally didn't visit. Once, a reenactment of _The Matrix_ brought them to a fucking weird club and Shikamaru had never quite gotten over it.

Anyways, that night's version of _Titanic _took place in Lee's living room. Naruto had quickly abandoned his half-hearted quest to land someone—he had dated and fucked a fourth of the people in attendance, a fraction that might have been impressive were there more than eight people present.

He chased Gaara up the stairs, with Lee in tow, but alas when Gaara tripped, they all fell and succumbed to the iceberg. Everyone subsequently sat in a circle on the floor, atop a blanket, and drank, screaming and crying their way into 2012.

Everything was fine, maybe perfect! This, this was who Naruto really was, happy and uncontained and unafraid. When Sakura hugged him, laughing, she was warm and supple. When Gaara's head was pressing into his side, it felt nice. These were his friends and he adored them and he didn't think of Sasuke, not once.

* * *

Naruto was alone and the sun was starting to rise. He headed down the corner and across the street where he had parked his SUV. He was flying, still drunk and happy, and although alone, laughing. He had spent the night on Lee's floor, urged not to leave early by Gaara, who had warned him that he was too drunk to drive.

He was sure that he had stepped on someone on his way out that morning, so he knew he was still too drunk. He just wanted to be in his car and in his own space as soon as possible. The icy air felt marvelous on his skin after the sweaty nastiness of sleeping on the floor with 7 other people stuck to him.

He loved it, and wanted to take off his shirt and lie down in the snow.

He opened the SUV, and threw his keys towards the passenger's seat. Then he locked his shit with the buttons near the armrest in the driver's side door.

The back of his SUV was bitchin'. Because Naruto never knew when Kurama would want to go on a joyride and strand them somewhere, Naruto had made sure that the beds of his cars were always well-supplied. He had pillows and blankets and warm sodas and it was awesome, and if he were a playa he could have probably nailed chicks back there, too, but he was sort of a loser.

He took off his shirt, and kicked off his pants, and then slid over the backseat bench. The lumpy, huge piles were comfortable and he almost passed out before getting under anything. He yanked up a fuzzy black blanket and pulled it to his neck.

"Mmm." He heard, and after a second, he froze in panic. What what what what what what . . .

Naruto pulled back the blanket—who the fuck was in his car holy shit—and was met with Sasuke's glare.

"Wha—Sasuke? What? _What_."

"You're drunk." Sasuke replied.

"You're in my car. _You're in my car._" Holy shit, holy shit, holyshitholyshitholyshit. Had Naruto not even locked his POS the night before? Had he been driving around with Sasuke for ten billion years and not noticed?! "What are you doing _in my car_?!"

"Naruto." Sasuke said.

"Oh my God, like—"

"Naruto."

"_What_?"

"How old are you?"

"_What_?!" Naruto squeaked. "Why—"

"Your age. How old are you?"

"Twenty-two."

"Naruto, Naruto."

"Sasuke, what the fuck?"

"It's all wrong. I need you to be someone else."

"Who else would I be?" If Sasuke fucking meant Kurama, Naruto was going to scream and freak his shit. "Kurama? He's sleeping."

"No, no," Sasuke sighed, and pushed his hand into his own hair. "I need Naruto."

"I _am_ Naruto!"

"Quit freaking. You're not the right one. Come here." Sasuke removed his hand from his own hair, and then caressed Naruto's face. "Hey little one, come out, come out, wherever you are." Sasuke thumbed the scars on Naruto's left cheek.

Sasuke was hot and soft and and and . . .

His lips were wet when he kissed and and and . . .

"You stink, Uzumaki."

"Sasuke . . .?"

"We're in your room, right? We're in your bed, Uzumaki. It's safe and it's just us. We're alone."

Naruto gasped. He was fading, intoxicated, hypnotized. Sasuke, Sasuke.

Naruto was disappearing.

* * *

"Naruto," Sasuke whispered, pressing their faces close. "Hey."

"Hi." Naruto replied, overheated.

"How old are you?"

What a stupid question. "Duh. Same age as you: twelve. Why?"

"Just asking. I'm not twelve, by the way. I've grown up."

"Nuh-uh!" Naruto sat up and gaped at Sasuke. "You're so tall!" he could tell, even though Sasuke was lying down. That was totally not fucking fair! Did that asshole seriously have to beat him at _everything_?!

"So are you."

Sure as shit, he was! Naruto looked down at himself, and he had to be _at least_ the same height as Sasuke if not _taller_! Awesome!

"Wow . . ." he marveled.

"Listen, Uzumaki, I need to tell you something." He kept his hand on Naruto's cheek, so that the blond couldn't look away. He sounded serious.

"What is it?"

"It's not that I don't want to be your friend anymore, it's just that things have gotten bad on my side, you know?"

"No!" Naruto screamed. "No, no! I don't want to hear this." Naruto never knew anything that was happening with Sasuke's life. Sasuke had to keep everything private, which was crap, because even an idiot like Naruto knew that suffering alone hurt more than asking your friends for help.

But he couldn't deal with this _all over again_.

"You can't leave, Sasuke! Not again, never again! If something is happening, you can tell me, and I can do something! Tell me what's going on!" He screamed, eyes burning.

Shock of all shocks, Sasuke nodded. "Yeah, I'll tell you, but you can't say anything to anyone else about this, all right?"

Naruto nodded in response, a solemn thing. He bit back tears.

"I don't live with Itachi anymore. Someone killed him, and the police aren't going to do shit to help." Naruto's cheeks reddened at Sasuke cussing, but what Sasuke was saying was so immense that he didn't point it out. Itachi? Murdered?

"Wha—why? I—"

"They're in on it, I know they are."

"The police? We should tell Officer Hatake. I know he always gives us hell for the things we do, but he's a really good guy, Sasuke."

"No, no. Even if he wasn't involved, if he knows, one of his fellow officers will find out too. Then they'll track me down."

"Sasuke, are you sure about this?" Because that was one fucking insane accusation. But this was _Sasuke_, Naruto's best friend Sasuke, and he wouldn't lie and he didn't make up bullshit.

"I've got some evidence, and I'm going to figure it all out."

"But . . . you will let me . . .?"

"Yeah. Yeah, but it's gotta be on my terms. Come on," Sasuke said, crawling over the backseat into the driver's. He grabbed the keys from the opposite side. "I'll drive us to your house."

"I still can't get over that you know how to drive!" Naruto shouted excitedly. They were together again and they were going to solve a crime and . . . "Oh my God, Iruka's gonna flip!"

Sasuke chuckled. "You haven't lived with Iruka for four years."

* * *

_Sunday, January 1, 2012_

_I swear to God! Sasuke! I'm happy he's talking to me again, and I want to help him in any way imaginable. I don't want to put down his dilemma here in case of anything happening, but hey, 22 year old Naruto, take care of him, okay?_

_I know I can't tell you everything you need to know, but for some reason Sasuke thinks this is the best way, so please trust me and have faith in him, too._

_I know you have got to remember how it felt when he left, like the whole world was falling apart, and you always thought of mom, and maybe you imagined her there and everything was okay, okay, and maybe Sasuke would come back and his family would come back and if you loved him hard enough and kept him in your bed long enough he'd never leave and everything'd be fine._

_But it won't be, so don't let him leave you again!_

_Yeah, that's what I mean to say:_

_Dear Naruto,_

_Take care of Sasuke. I'm counting on you!_

_-Naruto_

* * *

Naruto sighed into his coffee cup. His 12 year old self even had shitty handwriting!

He had spent approximately twenty-five years in the bathroom after waking up, but for the most part he felt fine. His head only hurt if he moved too fast, but if he just sat at his table doing nothing, it was like he had no hangover at all!

He had awakened with Sasuke next to him in his bed, but he knew better than to ask what had happened. He couldn't break their own rules, after all.

Sasuke wandered out to the living room around 2pm. Naruto didn't know how long they'd been at his house or sleeping at all, so he couldn't tell if 2 was late or not. Sasuke was wearing Naruto's black sweatpants and a tank top. He looked good, and Naruto blushed somewhat.

Sasuke snorted at him.

"Hey loser. Read your diary? I was there when he wrote that. You game?"

But 22 year old Naruto was a teensy bit smarter than 12 year old Naruto. He might have understood that he couldn't get details yet, but he wasn't going into this blindly.

"I don't want to be an ultimatum-delivering asshole, but . . ." Naruto said, scratching his cheek, "I'm down, I'm down for the ride, but only on a condition."

"Hmm?" Sasuke tilted his head back and looked down his nose at him.

"Move in with me."

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

Chapter Tracklist:

**The Love Language** – Providence


	3. A Friend in the Devil

**Notes:** To view the art for this chapter, please check out the AO3 version of the story or my tumblr, links are on my profile!

* * *

**Chapter 3: A Friend in the Devil**

* * *

_February 2002_

Naruto's mother opened the door, and Sasuke twisted the toe caps of his sneakers into the welcome mat. "Hi, um, is Naruto home?" He asked this even though his backpack of sleepover stuff was slung over one shoulder in expectance.

"Hey sweetie, I just got a call from your mom telling me you were on your way over. Yeah, he's here, come in." She sang at him. Sasuke bit his lip and looked down, but followed her inside. Other people's mothers had that effect on him—he felt shy and exposed.

"Naruto!" She called, and the blond boy thundered down the stairs, tripping on the last step but saving face with a jump. 10/10 landing.

"Hey Sasuke!" Naruto exclaimed, running to Sasuke and grabbing his hand. He pulled him towards his room. "I wanna show you something."

Sasuke looked back at Kushina Uzumaki. "Have fun boys. I'll call you when it's dinner time." She smiled at them, and Sasuke blushed a little, and was led away.

Naruto's door was decorated with street signs he thought were cool, like _STOP _and_ NO ENTRY_ and _DEER CROSSING_. It let anyone who walked by know that this was_ Naruto's room_. Sasuke had always kinda thought it was stupid, but he was secretly jealous that Naruto was allowed to decorate at all. Sasuke wasn't permitted to hang posters or door signs, and his room was nothing if not utilitarian. Naruto's room felt like Naruto himself, and so Sasuke vastly preferred being at his friend's house than at his own.

Naruto bounded over to the bed and sat, cross-legged, a plastic folder before him. He flapped his hands at Sasuke. "Come here!"

"What is it?" Sasuke asked, taking his place opposite Naruto, who was shaking in enthusiasm.

"It took me all week, but I finally cracked my mom's safe again!"

Sasuke chuckled. "You're becoming a real pro, Uzumaki. One day, you might even be able to rob a bank."

"Sasuke, this is serious," Naruto whined, waving the folder, "I've said it before, and I'll say it again: my mom shouldn't be hiding information about my dad from me."

Sasuke sighed. "She just wants to protect you."

"From what? I swear to God, if I have to endure another 'we'll talk about it when you're older' conversation, I don't know what I'll do!"

"Mmm," Sasuke nodded. "So what's it say?" He tilted his head towards him. He was able to play it cooler than Naruto, mostly because Naruto was totally hyperactive and uncontrollable, but he wanted to know things just as badly.

For the last three months, the two of them had been more or less trying to solve a mystery. Naruto, always curious and intrepid and digging through personal effects that were not his own, had found a _case file_, a memo written by his father before he was dead about _an investigation_. Naruto also subsequently witnessed his mother freak out about him finding it. She hid it, along with similar stacks of paper he had yet to read, in the safe. When Naruto had told Sasuke, the two of them immediately sought to uncover more.

"It's like, I don't know, like he was definitely trailing someone and he wrote out all of their actions!" Naruto said breathlessly. "It says that the suspect met with 'the sheep' at a diner, and that the trade would be at the Starlight Hotel that next Thursday!"

Sasuke didn't know what any of that meant, but it made him stiffen. His heart might have exploded, how fast it was beating. His head might have exploded, too, how loud his heart was beating.

"Uzumaki," he said, leaning towards the blond. "Your father was so cool!" Sure, Sasuke's own father was a police officer, but Naruto's father . . . he was like a _spy _or something!

"I know!" Naruto screamed. "And guess what? I'm going to memorize everything in that safe so if mom locks it away again, it won't be a problem."

Sasuke snorted. "How is a dumbass like you going to memorize anything? I'm surprised you can even remember your own name. Better let me do it."

"No!" Naruto shrieked, "No, you assface! It's _my _dad's super awesome case and I'm going to do it!"

"Whatever," Sasuke said as Naruto leaned over and hid the folder under his mattress. He segued. "We're in your bed."

"So we are," Naruto smiled cheekily. "You gonna kiss me or what?"

"Or what." Sasuke replied, pushing Naruto back onto the pillows and smothering him with his hands.

Naruto screeched and dug his fingers under Sasuke's arms. Sasuke laughed despite himself. Then he narrowed his eyes and pinned Naruto down.

"You can't escape, Uzumaki."

"Who says I want to?"

Sasuke blushed, because oh my God, _who said things like that_, and shit, Naruto was going to defeat him with only words someday.

"I'm still taller than you." It was something, at least.

"I hate you, Sasuke!" Naruto wailed, rolling around under him. "You won't always be, you know! One day, I'll be waaaaaay bigger than you."

"Not where it counts."

"Aaaaaaah!"

Sasuke laughed and put the poor fool out of his misery. He kissed Naruto once, a quick, sticky peck.

Naruto relaxed underneath him, and then smiled again. It was almost sweet, but Sasuke knew Naruto too well. Oh no, oh no, he was going to say _something stupid_ and call out Sasuke's red cheeks.

Sasuke kissed him again, and again, so he didn't have to look at that smug face.

When they heard Kushina call for them, they pulled apart.

Naruto said, "I . . . I _want _to talk about this, Sasuke. I like it, and I like—"

Sasuke shook his head as they went downstairs. "You know our rule."

* * *

_January 2012_

"Stop," Sasuke sighed, "I have to go to work now." They had both showered and got dressed, so Sasuke wasn't expecting them to end up back in bed. It was _such _a ploy by Naruto to initiate a secret moment.

"A little bit more," Naruto whispered.

Sasuke closed his eyes and parted his lips.

It's not like really wanted to go to fucking Konoha Brews, anyways. Just a little bit more.

* * *

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at the face Naruto was pulling. "What? Were you expecting more? I did just live in a tent, you know." He dropped his single duffle bag at Naruto's feet. He had taken the bag out of his beater car, where it had been while he worked, just moments ago. It was stiff with cold clothes.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Naruto said. He picked up the bag and brought it to the only bedroom.

Naruto's house was a _house_, and not an apartment, but it was small. Maybe a starter? Sasuke thought the whole notion of a starter house was bullshit, though. Like, what was that? A house to prepare your ass for better houses? The fuck?

Since Naruto decided to be happy homemaker and put away Sasuke's shit, Sasuke leaned in the doorway and didn't bother to help him. This was all Naruto's fault. Sasuke wasn't going to mention that the campground had officially closed when January began and he needed to find somewhere else to stay anyways—which was why he had hid out in Naruto's SUV. He had already planned on moving in. Like, if Sasuke really wanted to, he knew he could get anything out of Naruto. After all the years they had spent drifting apart and then out of each other's lives altogether, it was a small, private comfort.

Sasuke pulled at his apron strings, and tossed the dark blue garment towards the laundry pile on the floor. Shit needed washing. He felt a vibration in his back pocket from his phone, and took it out.

Orochimaru was calling.

"Who is that?"

"None of your business, Boss." Sasuke said, pressing _ignore_. He wondered how much he was going to be able to get away with living with Naruto. Whatever, he was an adult; he could leave any time he wanted and do anything he wanted and not tell Naruto shit.

Naruto grimaced. "I hate when you call me that."

Sasuke smirked at him. "Oh? And why's that, Boss? After all, you worked so _hard _to become _shift manager_, it's only fitting that I acknowledge your status."

Naruto shook his head and closed the closet. "Don't be condescending, Sasuke. I have free reign over the schedules, and I can make it so you work late shifts one day and early shifts the next."

"Oh, what wonderful boss you are." He accented it, _boss_, just so Naruto'd be annoyed.

Naruto shook his head again, and stared at Sasuke, expression dumbfounded. "Are we . . . are we fighting right now?"

"No!" Sasuke yelled. He yelled because he _was _mad. Totally and inexplicably mad! "Yes! I don't know! Fuck, why don't you ever just stay out of shit you're not involved in?!"

Why the fuck did Orochimaru have to call him? That fucker never got a hint. Shit, maybe it wasn't so inexplicable, his developing anger. Orochimaru made Sasuke's head hurt. Hatred and something akin to a craving raged in him.

Naruto squinted at him, and rushed towards him, making to take his phone. "Who called you? Who the fuck called you?"

"Get away from me, Naruto." Sasuke snapped, pushing Naruto back and sliding his phone into his pocket again. "If we live together, you gotta understand that I have a private life outside of you and I don't need to let you in on anything."

"Yes you do!" Naruto glared at him. "That's how it goes, Sasuke, like, if I'm going to help you, I have to know things."

"Not everything."

After a moment, Naruto nodded, and loosened his shoulders. "Not everything," he agreed. "But something."

Sasuke froze. Then he nodded too. "But something."

The two of them stood there, staring at each other, and then finally, Sasuke said:

"Orochimaru."

Naruto looked wildly concerned. "You still talk to that creep?"

"Yeah. Hey, um, Naruto? Can I?" Sasuke turned his head aside. "Can I talk to Uzumaki?" He glanced back at Naruto's suddenly rigid stance.

"Yeah . . . yeah. Sure." Naruto cast his eyes downward.

When they were lying on the bed, slowly kissing, Sasuke tried to suppress any ill feeling he might have had about his actions, whispering "little one, little one," over and over until Uzumaki peered up at him.

* * *

"Red, red." Naruto—Uzumaki—murmured. Sasuke _shh'd_ him and stroked his hair. Uzumaki was somehow tiny even though his body was 22 years old, "Hair that never stopped growing, red, red on the floor."

Sasuke squeezed him.

"Officer Hatake painted my feet black and made me step on a paper, did you know? So they could tell whose bloody footprints were mine and whose weren't."

Sasuke shook his head.

Uzumaki nodded his.

"But," Uzumaki shifted, meeting Sasuke's eyes. "I'll still be able to help you. Sasuke, no matter what kind of trouble you're in, I'll help you." And he did that miraculous thing that Sasuke had always envied—he wiped his tears and smiled. Fucking God, Sasuke could never get that. A survivor, with gaping blue eyes.

"I know." Sasuke said. "I know your memory's spotty, but do you think you could . . .?"

"Yep. I'll do my best." Then Uzumaki whispered, "Before she was killed, my mom hid dad's files. They weren't in the safe last time I checked, but . . ." he swallowed, "What I was able to read . . . I remember _everything _I've ever read. Dad's handwriting . . . it's burned into me."

"Like fire."

"Like fire." Uzumaki nuzzled into Sasuke's neck.

Sasuke shivered from unwanted heartbreak. How many times had he crossed some invisible line, thinking 'now I'm no longer a child' only to be wrong every time? Sasuke was _always _a child.

"Don't worry," Uzumaki said, patting Sasuke on the back. "We're going to figure it all out. And when I'm all grown up and become a doctor, I'll make sure you're all better again."

Sasuke laughed bitterly. "I'm the one broken thing you can't fix."

"Impossible! There's nothing I can't fix!" Uzumaki made a fist in the air.

And Sasuke laughed sincerely.

* * *

_I'll hold your hand when you are feeling mad at me, _  
_Yeah, when the monsters they won't go, _  
_And your windows won't close, _  
_I'll pretend to see what you see._

Sasuke sat up. He must have fallen asleep. He was on Naruto's bed, and he could hear that idiot's music, coming from the living room.

Sasuke was in the bedroom _while Naruto was in the living room_. It seemed rather domestic and strange to him. _They lived together._

He shook his head. He took out his phone. He had a text.

_You're going to get sick if you don't come and take your medicine, dear. Do come by at your earliest convenience_.

Sasuke screamed and threw his phone at the bedroom door. His medicine, his medicine, his medicine . . . Medicine. Fucking Orochimaru. It was like Sasuke missed him, but he didn't really. His own mind betrayed him.

Naruto was there in a second. "What's wrong?"

"Everything!" Sasuke flailed. He was sad, he was furious. Naruto rushed to him, and held him tight. Sasuke clawed at Naruto's back, and he knew he was drawing blood. "Everything," he repeated, "My whole fucking life."

Naruto held tighter.

"He's watching us," Sasuke said, pointing towards the hallway, visible through the open door.

"Who?" Naruto asked, looking back.

"Itachi."

"Really?" Naruto said. He was quiet for a moment, then he asked, "What does he want?"

"Me to avenge him."

"Okay." Naruto nodded. "Okay."

Sasuke pushed Naruto off. "I need to go somewhere. Don't . . . don't ask me, all right?"

"Sasuke . . . I read the diary entry for today, I . . ." He bit his lip, and nodded once more. "All right, just . . . just tell me what you can, when you can."

It was so easy to manipulate Naruto, Sasuke realized fully then, because Naruto was afraid he'd leave again. He'd do anything to prevent it, even if it meant suppressing his own nature—a thrashing, loud, questioning nature—so Sasuke wouldn't abandon him.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Sasuke tried to ignore the way Naruto's lip quivered.

* * *

_"Have you ever kissed anyone before?" Sasuke whispered into the dark. It was silent so long that he thought Naruto had already gone to sleep._

_"No." He heard, at last._

_"Have you ever wanted to, Uzumaki?"_

* * *

Sasuke pulled his POS up to Orochimaru's apartment. The apartment they had _all _used to live in: Sasuke, Orochimaru, Kabuto, and . . . Itachi, too.

He knocked once, and was about to turn away when Orochimaru opened up.

"Sasuke," he smirked, face pointed down but eyes turned up. "So good to see you. Come in." He made a hand motion, and Sasuke entered.

"Where's everyone?" He meant Karin, Naruto's cousin, and some other people who had moved in after he left. Sasuke asked mainly to say something. He didn't really give a shit.

"Out. It's just us."

Sasuke hummed and looked up at the ceiling. "Hurry up."

Orochimaru smiled at him. "So impatient. I've got what you need. Let me put it in something nice for you today? How's cake?"

"Fine. Whatever's fine."

"Good boy. You love your Lightfighter."

Sasuke chewed his lip until he tasted blood.

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

Chapter Tracklist:

**Portugal. The Man** - Evil Friends  
**Foster The People **- Waste


	4. Midnight Orchestra

**Notes:** Chapter contains 12 year olds kissing. To view the art for this chapter, please check out the AO3 version of the story or my tumblr, links are on my profile!

* * *

**Chapter 4: Midnight Orchestra**

* * *

_January 2002_

"Happy New Year."

"Can I come with you?" Sasuke asked, looking up at his brother. "I won't get in the way and I promise I won't tell mom and dad about what you do, and—" It would be fun. He and Naruto could hang around with Itachi's friends and maybe even try real alcohol. In only one more year, he'd be a _teenager_. Sasuke was practically an adult already!

Itachi smiled down at him. Sasuke was lying beside Naruto, the two of them having spent New Year's at the Uchiha house. Because they were twelve, Sasuke's parents let them do such exciting things as watch the ball drop on TV and drink sparkling grape juice. Sure, Itachi was already well into his training to be a police officer, but he still lived at home. It wasn't fair that he got to go out to parties and have fun while Sasuke had to entertain Naruto at home. Naruto was never sleepy and always yapping about how much more fun they'd have at his house. Sasuke didn't admit that it was probably true.

Itachi shook his head. "Sorry kiddo, maybe next time." When Sasuke pouted, Itachi grinned broadly.

"You always say that." Sasuke whined.

Itachi nodded. "One day, you'll be older and we can do lots of things together, okay? Right now, just focus on being a good host." Itachi flicked Sasuke on the forehead.

Sasuke glared when Naruto snickered beside him.

"Goodnight." Sasuke muttered.

"Goodnight." Itachi turned off the lights when he left.

Naruto rolled over and faced Sasuke. "Isn't it weird that your brother says 'goodnight' and tucks you in, like, even though you're twelve?"

Sasuke shoved Naruto off the bed. "You wouldn't understand."

Naruto was a mess of limbs and hair and sheets on the floor, howling in laughter. "It's a bit dodgy, Sasuke, like—"

Sasuke waved his hand to quiet him before he could hear anything he didn't want to. "No, no," he said, pulling Naruto up and back onto the bed, "I don't think an idiot like you can understand this, but it's just that . . . I want to be just like him." Sasuke did. He resented that his parents seemed to favor Itachi and think Sasuke slower, less skilled, _less worthy_. Even so, he loved Itachi, and didn't blame him for their parents' favoritism. Itachi was just really great, even someone like Sasuke couldn't deny it.

Sasuke gasped in surprise when Naruto slapped him.

"That," Naruto said, all traces of humor gone, "Is something I understand _perfectly_."

"Uzumaki . . .?"

"Yes, _Uchiha_? Even an idiot like me can get that, okay?" Naruto squished his face up, and it was blue in the darkness. Somewhere outside, people were setting off illegal fireworks, and Naruto would go from blue to green to red to blue again. "You know, one day, you're going to look up to me!" Good, good, he was still the same predictable Naruto. Sasuke was worried there for a second!

"Ha ha, you wish."

"You'll see!"

Naruto yelped "ow!" when Sasuke pushed him off the bed again.

* * *

Sasuke shifted under the covers. It was too hot, so he kicked them off. It was too cold, so he pulled them back. He settled with one leg in and one leg out and it kinda sucked ass.

Naruto was uncharacteristically still.

Sasuke heard the fireworks crashing, shooting up, miniature rockets. He wondered where Itachi was, and with whom. What was he doing? Was he watching the lights?

Sasuke rolled onto his stomach and buried his face into the pillow. Then he turned and looked at Naruto's blond head.

"Have you ever kissed anyone before?" Sasuke whispered into the dark. It was silent so long that he thought Naruto had already gone to sleep.

"No." He heard, at last.

"Have you ever wanted to, Uzumaki?"

Sasuke held his breath. Slowly, slowly, Naruto shifted, and they lay, side by side, noses touching. Sasuke was going to die. He wanted to take it back, because this was scary and exhilarating and he couldn't fathom why he would want something so much, so much _it hurt_, so much he wanted to _touch_, yet of which he was so afraid.

"I—"

Naruto closed the gap between them. He kissed Sasuke, not timidly but certainly cautious and exploratory, which, even as overwhelmed as he was, Sasuke noticed. How cute.

Sasuke breathed out, and Naruto flicked his tongue over Sasuke's bottom lip. Sasuke squeaked and Naruto grinned and then, there, Sasuke felt better. This was _Naruto_. He was kissing _Naruto_, and it was easy. Sasuke was a genius! He didn't even have to think about it and he was good at it!

"Your mouth is so wet." Naruto whispered in a voice Sasuke had never before heard. He was glad that his body was pressed straight down, into the bed.

Sasuke flushed and shivered, saying, "No it's not! A-and stop smiling!"

"Sasuke, you are ador—"

"No, no, no, no." Sasuke said. Nope. "We," Sasuke panted, "We need . . ."

Naruto kissed him again, this time with force and energy and everything Sasuke might have expected. Sasuke clutched at him, moaning into it with abandon. Naruto Uzumaki, with lips and teeth and tongue, was unlocking him.

It was one of many times that Sasuke felt he had crossed some line into adulthood. Sasuke, though, was a kid after all, and when they drew apart, lips tacky, he looked around deliriously for a moment before shoving his face back into the pillow. When was he going to be old enough to understand this? When was he going to be old enough to go places with Itachi? When was he going to be old enough?

* * *

A few days after New Year's, Sasuke sat at the topmost step of the Uchiha home's staircase. He was eavesdropping on his parents, who were, strangely, yelling at his brother.

"I know, I know, Father, but Sasuke isn't like most kids. I'm just saying that we shouldn't hold him up to the same standards, okay?"

Sasuke didn't have to physically see his father to know what his face looked like. Father was a stern man, hardworking and no-nonsense. He was no doubt furrowing his brow. He was a well-respected member of the police force, and saw things, horrible things. Sasuke sympathized with him sort of, as much as a twelve year old could. He just wished that we wasn't compared to Itachi, when Itachi was already full grown and career-oriented. Sasuke wasn't sure what he wanted to be when he grew up, but he had intended to worry about it later than sooner.

"Itachi . . . I know you love your brother, so you, of all people, should see how that Naruto is a bad . . ."

Naruto? A bad _what_? Influence? Sasuke could have laughed out loud had it not seemed incongruous at the time.

"He's just like Sasuke, Father, just a lonely kid."

Sasuke didn't think it was true at all that he was lonely. Sasuke had loads of friends. _Everyone _at school loved him.

"Can you just . . . look after him and make sure . . ." said Mother. Sasuke had been wondering when she'd join the conversation.

"Of course." Itachi said, and Sasuke heard the tinkle of keys. "Need to get to work. I'll pick Sasuke up after and take him out, okay?"

The house shook when Itachi shut the door behind him, and Sasuke padded back to his room, throwing open his closet. Why? Why did they disapprove of everything, from his lack of aspirations to the friends he kept? He tossed miscellaneous clothes into his backpack.

* * *

"Are you running away?" Itachi asked, once they were on the road again. They were leaving Starbucks, a place totally only for people like Itachi—young adults with spare change and dreams and unhealthy obsessions with classic movies.

Sasuke shook his head. "No. You're taking me to Naruto's house."

"I am?"

Sasuke glared at him. Why did Itachi have to end everything he said to him with a stupid little laugh? A condescending noise. It was like he was constantly telling Sasuke 'you idiot, you'll see when you're older' and it reminded him of the way Kushina Uzumaki treated Naruto. Sasuke hated everyone older than him—they all thought they knew so much more, but the truth was that they were just assholes.

"Yeah. That's what I said," Sasuke paused. "Unless you want to take me to your cop friends' houses."

"Sorry Sasuke, maybe next time."

Sasuke hated him, so much. He wanted to pelt Itachi with the stupid cream-based Vanilla Frappuccino he had bought him.

"One day, I'm going to hold you to all your 'maybe next time's, you realize?"

"I know, kiddo."

* * *

"And so," Sasuke said, "We should only stay at your house from now on." He was unusually pumped, and stood on Naruto's bed while the blond stared up at him from his vantage on the floor, expression amused.

Naruto quickly sprang up and tackled him. Sasuke didn't mind at all. He fell and wiggled to better accommodate their position.

"Wait," Sasuke said, covering Naruto's mouth with his hand as the blond moved his face closer. "About . . . _this_, we should . . . we should set up ground rules." He withdrew his hand.

Naruto knotted his eyebrows together. "Like what?" he asked.

"Like," Sasuke paused to knead their mouths together, "like, anything we do on your bed is our secret."

"Our secret?" Naruto mumbled into the kiss. It was open-mouthed and messy. "I wouldn't tell anyone, anyway."

"No, I mean, like, maybe the bed's secret? I don't want to talk about any of it, not even to you. But I want to do . . . what we do. I need to figure things out on my own."

"Figure out things you do with me—someone else—on your own? What about my input?"

Sasuke grimaced at him. "I guess you don't have to agree, but if you don't, then I won't do this—" he motioned between them "—with you anymore."

"You're not playing fair, Sasuke."

"I don't play fair, Uzumaki." Sasuke smirked at him. "You game?"

"Yeah," Naruto said, "I'm down, I'm down for the ride."

"Good." Sasuke kissed him once more. "It's the only rule we have, okay?"

He wanted to taste and explore. He let instinct move his hands and hips. When not anger or restlessness, Sasuke's incipient sexuality motivated most of his actions. It had been happening more and more lately. He bit Naruto's neck, and reveled in the sound it evoked.

* * *

_January 2012_

Sasuke paused in the doorway and fixed his eyes on Naruto. Naruto was sitting in the middle of the kitchen table, and all of his homework and school shit had been shoved to the floor. He was surrounded by spiral notebooks and was scribbling furiously into one.

"Naruto?" Sasuke asked, hanging up his jacket before moving closer. "Naruto, how old are you?"

Naruto stopped and frowned at him. "Oh my God, Sasuke, you are such a retard. Twelve, twelve, Sasuke. I'm twelve."

"Heh," said Sasuke, he picked up one of the notebooks and flipped through it absentmindedly. "Don't call me a retard, Uzumaki. No one in this world has ever been more retarded than you. There's this thing, you know. It's called a chair."

"Shut your face!" Uzumaki chucked a handful of the books at him. "Meanwhile," he yapped, "When you were at work, I was busy reading these. I know I wrote things about dad in here, in a way that mom couldn't decipher if she found them." He sniggered and seemed very proud of himself. He had obviously started a new entry, too. Maybe compiling notes?

"Yeah?" Sasuke said, dropping the book he held on the pile of the ones that Uzumaki had tossed at him. Uzumaki had missed, by the way.

"Yeah. Dad was definitely following a drug trafficker. I just don't get what this would have to do with Itachi. But . . . I have a feeling that dad thought his files might be found, because they're _really _vague."

Sasuke bobbed his head. "Of course."

"It's just . . . what do you remember about when your parents were killed?"

Sasuke's blood was icy sludge. "Not much." Sasuke took a deep breath. "I remember Itachi pulling me into his chest and telling me things would be all right and it was fast and I was brainless and I slept in the back of a cop car."

Sasuke hated the way Uzumaki looked at him right then.

Uzumaki rocked himself a little, before crawling off the table. "I read Naruto's diary, too. Where did you go last night?"

"Orochimaru's." As usual. Sasuke was there three, four times a week.

"Oh." Sasuke hated the way Uzumaki had said that, too. "I don't suppose you'll tell me what you went there for?"

Sasuke shook his head. "Sorry kiddo, maybe next time."

* * *

It wasn't like his parents' death was easy to get over, but Sasuke had had Itachi there for him growing up. It was Itachi who created havens, who let Sasuke be himself, no matter if one day he was energetic and then the next day lazy.

Because Itachi was there to scoop Sasuke up off the ground and take him away from the Uchiha house, Sasuke had never seen the dirtier parts of murder until Itachi was the victim.

"I remember," he said to Uzumaki, who was now on the bed, holding the notebook from earlier. "When Itachi brought me to Orochimaru's place for the first time. He told me that Orochimaru was a friend of Kabuto's—this other cop—and that we'd all live there together and everything'd be okay."

Uzumaki nodded, and as if it were important, wrote what Sasuke said down. Sasuke rolled his eyes, but didn't bitch.

Sasuke was digging through a large shoebox he had found in the closet. It was Naruto's, but he figured he had freedom to look through anything. It was sort of strange, the contents, like a wad of letters held together by a rubberband, miscellaneous knickknacks, and a folded up shirt.

He shifted that crap aside and pulled out a photo. Naruto and Gaara. Naruto didn't seem to be much younger than he was currently, but Sasuke didn't recognize where they were or the clothes Naruto was wearing. He thus assumed the photo was taken anywhere between them being 18 to 22, when he was decidedly not a part of Naruto's life in the slightest.

There were more photos, he discovered, a trove of them. Naruto and Gaara in someone's house, at a party of some sorts, at Konoha Brews.

What was this?

"I remember you too, Uzumaki. Holding Officer Hatake's hand, covered in blood and carrying a lock of red hair. You—"

Uzumaki immediately screamed. A lonesome sound. "Stop it! Sasuke, stop!"

Sasuke moved closer. "Six new scars, three for each cheek."

"No, no, stop, _please_."

Sasuke petted him. Poor baby. "I remember when you moved in with Iruka, too, the only one who'd take you."

"Sasuke, why are you doing this?" Uzumaki whispered. His face was red and tears spilt over easily. Ah Naruto. Always quick to cry.

"Do you? Do you remember, Uzumaki? That was the same time I said we couldn't do _those things_ anymore. I bet you were really lonely."

Uzumaki bit his bottom lip. When he opened his mouth again, his sound of anguish almost made Sasuke stop.

Sasuke was pissed off though. Why did Naruto have a . . . he didn't fucking know, a _boyfriend_ box of Gaara shit? Sasuke was shaking. This was unfair, because he knew, _knew_, that he was the only one who could manipulate Naruto this way. He also knew he was picking on a child and that Uzumaki probably wasn't completely knowledgeable about the Gaara box. Still, he didn't give a fuck.

"Because you hate yourself, right?" Sasuke asked with a smile. "Because you've always blamed yourself for what happened to your mother. You couldn't save her, just like I couldn't save my parents, but what's more?" Sasuke narrowed his eyes in predatory glee. "I wasn't yours after that."

Uzumaki curled into himself, and Sasuke poked him. "You never had me again." He said each word slowly.

He left the room, Uzumaki a quivering ball, and sat on the couch, waiting. He had brought up Kushina's death, so he was guaranteed to provoke the darker side of Naruto.

Kurama, Kurama, who longed and loathed as hard as Sasuke.

* * *

Sasuke heard the door slam open. There was a crash when Naruto pushed over the small bookcase in the hallway, and when he came into the living room, Sasuke could feel the heat of his rage.

"Kurama," Sasuke said casually. "It's been awhile."

"I will fucking kill you." Because he had taunted Uzumaki. And Sasuke already knew that while Kurama hated Naruto, he adored Uzumaki.

Sasuke laughed. Kurama was scary, sure, but Sasuke had long stopped fearing anything. A child's mistake, underestimating Naruto; Sasuke was knocked out cold before he could move.

All the Lightfighter in his system did nothing to help.

* * *

_Sasuke entwined his fingers with Naruto's. He mouthed out something into Naruto's mouth, lips moving but utterly voiceless._

_Naruto laughed and replied. "I love you, too."_

_Naruto swallowed Sasuke's shocked breath._

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

Chapter Tracklist:

**Aqua Timez** - 真夜中のオーケストラ


	5. The Cherry That Loved a Wedding Cake

**Notes:** To view the art for this chapter, please check out the AO3 version of the story or my tumblr, links are on my profile!

**Warnings:** This chapter contains past Naruto/Sakura and Naruto/Gaara. There are themes of underage sex, dubious consent, and abortion. This version of the chapter has been edited to be non-explicit, see the link in my profile for the AO3 version to see the chapter in full.

* * *

**Chapter 5: The Cherry That Loved a Wedding Cake**

* * *

_Saturday, April 28, 2007_

"Naruto, do you think we were a good couple?" She asked drowsily.

Naruto froze initially, but then smiled a little. "Yes. We were." This he said assuredly.

"Should I have . . ." Sakura's words were slow. "We made the right choice, right?"

Naruto squeezed her tightly and his smile was gone as quickly as it had appeared. Was there ever such a thing as the one and only right choice? "We're kids," he tried, feeling stupider than ever. "I . . . I think so." This he said hesitantly.

"Ino says there's support groups for this kind of thing, like . . ." Sakura labored a breath, "Like, if we feel . . ."

He knew.

The sun was rising, and Sakura's pastel dress was stained orange. Her blonde roots were showing, dye fading. She looked like her namesake: something that wilted.

"Will you come with me?"

Of course he would go. He couldn't understand why, but the pain of having lost someone he had never met was like scraping a vegetable peeler against the guts.

"Yes." Naruto agreed readily. It hurt, it _did _hurt, it hurt. Why did he even bother putting on that fake fucking smile and interacting with their friends like nothing had changed, like his whole, reconstructed world hadn't imploded in one instant?

"We're kids," she mumbled, echoing him, "We're kids, we're kids."

There was no breeze, so the new day's awakening heat warmed his face. From his vantage in the open bed of his car, he could see nothing but light and treetops from the cliffs below. His tuxedo weighed too much on his body, and for a second, a terrifying and exhilarating second, he wanted to feel nothing more than a rush and run as fast as he could and fling himself off the bridge and mean it until the very last breath; everyone means it until the last breath.

"I'm sorry." This he said soundlessly.

* * *

_Friday, January 6, 2012_

Naruto opened his eyes. Sunlight was shining dimly through the wooden blinds of his kitchen window. He was lying on the linoleum floor. When he put his weight on his palm to prop himself up, he felt a sharp slice that sent sensation up his neck and directly below his ear. He looked down. He was amidst shards of broken dishes. He lifted his hand and turned it upwards. Slender scratches were coated in flaking blood.

"Finally awake?"

Naruto raised his head towards that voice. Sasuke was sitting on the ground, leaning against the side of the dining table. He was nursing a bruised face, a Ziploc bag of ice pressed to his left temple.

"Sasuke . . ."

"I've only just woke up, too." Sasuke said. He snorted bitterly. "I guess this is what I get for aggravating you. Well, not really _you_, but you get me. I'm just glad I don't have a concussion."

Naruto's heart was constricting, tighter, tighter. "I . . ." He scratched at the bits of ceramic stuck on and in his hand.

Sasuke shook his head. "When I don't take my medicine regularly, I get . . . well, I get pretty fucked up."

_Medicine?_

"Medicine?"

"Yeah. Call in sick. You can go in tomorrow."

Naruto wanted to protest because he was _shift manager_, but the schedules were set that week and the payroll was up to date. He had just done the quality check a few days prior. Konoha Brews would be fine without him for the day. He nodded slowly.

"How much do you recall?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto took a shaky breath. "Not much. With Kurama, it's like . . . I see everything for a few moments, and then I just kinda black out."

"Hm. No different than before, then."

"Sasuke?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do you . . . why do you tell them things, but not me?"

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched, almost imperceptibly. "I don't know."

Naruto slumped into himself and pulled his legs against his chest. "They know a lot about me and each other, but I don't know much about them . . ."

"I remember."

"If I'm going to—"

"Look, Naruto, here's the thing. Uzumaki and Kurama work with me. They're not always easy, but they work. You, though," Sasuke took a breath and it sounded like a hiss, like a snake, "are much too sweet to me."

Naruto pushed his face into his knees. "Kindness is not weakness, Sasuke." He wanted to push straight through his eye sockets.

"I don't deserve it." Sasuke murmured and Naruto would've yelled at him and called him stupid and dramatic, but he felt too drained and low. Instead, he gave an empty laugh. He was disgusted with himself; it was all too easy to agree with Sasuke. That thought threatened to crush him, so he stifled it.

Sasuke then whispered, "Hey, Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"Uzumaki . . . how come he doesn't know things about me after I left? He didn't know you no longer lived with Iruka and was stoked about me driving, like it was new."

"Uzumaki has been . . . dormant . . . since I was eighteen."

"Long time. Came out for me easy enough, though."

Naruto nodded. That he also didn't want to think about. He said "I'll make breakfast." Before, though, he needed to clean up. He reached for the broom.

* * *

_10. Did you know that when you think no one is looking, you smile in a complete calmness like you're one with the world, and I've always wanted to know what you're thinking when you do that, like, how is it that you know so much and understand so much and are better at everything and no matter what I do, I'm always a kid? But I don't know, and I never can know, and I love that, too._

* * *

_Thursday, January 5, 2012_

_Naruto, you gotta find your dad's actual case files. My notes are patchy since I only could record the ones I found before mom hid them permanently. Of course I memorized the files I did have, but mom had loads more that I only got to look at. There might have even been more than that, too! Ones I've never even laid eyes on. Maybe Iruka knows where mom hid them? Maybe he has some information—you should call him._

_Sasuke was at Orochimaru's house; he actually goes there all the time, like you might have suspected, by the way. He said so, but I don't know if he'll tell you, so I will. I'll make sure I hide this entry so he doesn't see it. I'll leave it in the secret spot so I know you'll find it (and, obviously, if you're reading this, then you did find it). I'll write a fake one just for him—he makes sure to read everything I write to you so I can't reveal more to you than he wants. Knowing that, hide what you write if it concerns him._

_Here's the thing, though. Naruto, I know Sasuke is lost somewhere. I know that even though he's here physically, he is orbiting so far away that nothing could touch him. I don't know what happened to him in the years you haven't seen him, but . . . when he lies beside me, quietly, I see him as a child still, just like me, and . . . he needs me . . . you. He needs us._

_Today Sasuke seems kinda twitchy and off, and I hear Kurama, screaming to come out. I wouldn't be surprised if something happens, so be careful, okay?_

_I'll start writing out what of dad's files I do know, and I'll also leave them for you in the secret spot. I'll put my notes there, too. Look . . . I know . . . more than Sasuke thinks, because, right as he was drifting from me and avoiding me and we lost our families, I found case files that mention several Uchiha. I haven't told him yet, because I don't know what kind of reaction it might inspire in him, but . . . you're not alone, okay? You've got me._

_I'll do my best to help you._

_-Naruto_

* * *

Once it was Monday the next week, winter holidays had ended. The weekend had been a somber and silent thing, and Naruto and Sasuke hardly spoke. They slept in the same bed, but it was a hollow motion. Naruto had night classes and worked in the mornings, and Sasuke had more afternoon-centric days. On one hand Naruto could count the times he was properly with Sasuke that week, so by the time the next weekend came, Naruto was happy they both had it free to be together.

On Friday and Saturday, Naruto discovered a quiet, lethargic side of Sasuke. Sasuke liked to watch classic movies—ones where the credits played first and took twenty years. Sasuke would connect an HDMI cord from his lime green Sony Vaio into Naruto's TV and lie on his side on the couch watching Audrey Hepburn and Albert Finney traverse the world; Sasuke was always lying down—he seemed perpetually tired. Sasuke listened to bands Naruto had never heard of and was sure made Sasuke feel superior and cosmopolitan, huge headphones blocking out everything else. Sasuke never turned off his cell phone, but he did stuff it deep under the couch cushions. Sasuke sighed a lot.

On Sunday night, they rolled together and kissed. They slept clinging to each other.

On Monday morning, they pulled apart and went on with their lives.

* * *

_Monday, January 16, 2012_

_I'm worried. I haven't had any blackouts, I think, and there's been nothing from Kurama or Uzumaki. Until I hear from Uzumaki, I'm putting off talking to Iruka, which I know is probably fucking dumb, but. . . . I checked under the floorboard a few times, but the compartment is always empty, and there's nothing to add to his last message to me. Sasuke hasn't mentioned the crime for over a week, and I wonder if he's doing something behind my back. Of course he's doing something behind my back._

_I need to . . ._

Naruto put his pen down. He needed to tail Sasuke. Another Orochimaru call was imminent, Naruto could feel it. He'd just get in his SUV and follow and find out where that fucker lived . . . He was certain Orochimaru was the cause of all Sasuke's problems. Why did Sasuke willing go to him, over and over?

"Welcome," he said on instinct when the bell above the door rang. He peered up and was so happy with who he saw that he could have cried. "Kakashi!"

"That's _Officer _Kakashi to you," the cop smiled. Not like anyone who wasn't Naruto could tell, though. Germaphobic freak was always wearing some sort of face covering; today's was a surgical mask. "Doing your homework? Shouldn't be slacking off on the job." Officer Kakashi's platinum bangs usually covered a single eye to hide his heterochromia, but that day, both his hazel eye and his deep blue eye were showing.

"N-no," Naruto said, folding up the piece of paper he had been writing on. He stuffed it away into his backpack, which was under the counter, near his feet. Heeding Uzumaki's warning, Naruto kept his entries on his person at all times. "And you're one to talk, Officer. Are you here for donuts?" He sneered teasingly, because ha ha, but Officer Kakashi merely lifted a brow.

"Oh yes, that sounds good."

Naruto thinned his lips into a level line and pulled out a small plate from the cabinet next to the glass confectionary case. Their new supplies had finally come in, so the dish was shaped like a leaf. Officer Kakashi angled his head at it amusedly.

"Cute," he said.

Naruto groaned. "Ah, are you just stopping in or are you here for a reason?"

Officer Kakashi waved around a paperback. "Just decided to visit you after work. That, and catch up on some reading."

"Same trash as always, I see. I don't know how you can read stuff like that, it's _so _boring." Naruto set about preparing the usual and he heard a quiet laugh.

Naruto didn't know what else to say, though he wanted to talk lots. He wanted to ask Officer Kakashi about things and catch up and confide and and and . . .

He stood motionlessly after he passed over the change.

He had spoken to Kakashi like ten billion times before; they were as much friends as a brat and authority figure could be, so Naruto had no idea why this was so hard. Was it because of Sasuke's insistence that the police were involved in Itachi's murder? But this was _Officer Kakashi_, he would never do something awful like kill another cop, nor would he cover it up, and Naruto knew nothing about the crime and hadn't even looked up any of the details and was really just running on Sasuke's petrol and his mind was making up scenarios from all angles.

So, he stood motionlessly, stupidly, and wildly out of step with the crime he was supposed to investigating.

Eventually, Officer Kakashi took up cross-legged residence on a window seat and was absorbed in his reading, coffee cup and plate untouched beside him.

Naruto rocked on his heels and watched him.

_Hey, Officer Kakashi, what was my dad like?_ No, wait, weird, and only relevant because Sasuke got it in his head that Naruto's dad's case files had something to do with Itachi—a thought that Uzumaki had seemingly corroborated in his last entry—and fuck, really, how could Naruto be of any help without knowing these things? Did Uzumaki know? Kurama? Without contact, he had no idea . . . like, maybe Uzumaki had indeed come out and was unable to leave a record and Naruto just couldn't remember it . . . shit. Just _shit_. It wasn't likely; it was more probable that Naruto was overcome with his own ineptitude and was looking for any reason to forestall something painful.

The cop flipped another page.

_Hey, Officer Kakashi, what do you know about why my dad and mom were . . ._

No, no, that was all wrong. Besides, he had asked that numerous times.

"Hey, um, Officer Kakashi?" Naruto hadn't noticed that he had slid around the counter and had glided towards the other man. He hadn't noticed, and that scared him a little.

_Hey, Officer Kakashi, do you know what happened to Itachi Uchiha?_

"Hm?"

"Can we . . . can we talk sometime?"

"We're talking now, Naruto."

"Right. I mean, can we talk, like, privately . . . sometime . . . soon?"

Officer Kakashi lifted a brow and Naruto scratched the blond hair above his own right ear. Why was this so awkward?

_'Cause baby there ain't no mountain high enough,_  
_Ain't no valley low enough,_  
_Ain't no river wide enough,_  
_To keep me from getting to you, babe._

Naruto mimicked the cop, and raised a single brow. What the hell kind of ringtone was that?

"Hello?" Kakashi said, after sliding his cell's screen up and rotating it with a thumb. Naruto had no idea what kind of phone did that, but it looked pretty sweet. "Ah, well, you see, I was on my way over, but then one of my, uh . . ." he looked up at Naruto, " . . . Ah, you remember Naruto, right? Well, we crossed paths and got to talking and wow, time sure does fly." He chuckled good-naturedly, but whomever he was talking to didn't seem to fall for it. Naruto heard some digitally-distorted but nonetheless passionate sobs on the other end.

"Ha ha, I love you too."

Naruto raised his upper lip quizzically. This was kinda gross, whatever it was. He waited until the phone call had ended before saying, "So, uh, nice, using me as an excuse there."

"You don't mind, right? Anyways, soon then? I'm late for my date!"

It didn't surprise Naruto one bit that Officer Kakashi was late for something. But, wait, a date? Well, he did say 'I love you,' but Naruto assumed that was bullshit.

"What the fuck?" He asked before he could stop himself, "A date?"

"Mmm." Kakashi nodded and handed Naruto the dishes, food uneaten and coffee still warm. "Even married people have to go on dates sometimes. Keeps things interesting."

"Married?" Naruto asked lamely. Officer Kakashi wore no rings and never talked about a wife, and wait, what? _What_? "How, how long have you been married?"

"Hm, fifty, maybe sixty years now."

"What? You're not even forty." He had known Kakashi for ten years, and had never heard any of this. Well, not like they were BFF, but still.

"That's true. Okay, well, it was nice seeing you."

"Wait! So . . . soon then, yeah? And why were you here, hanging out, if you had a date?"

"Of course, Naruto," Officer Kakashi said, squeezing Naruto's shoulder, "And you know, I'm terrible about that kind of thing." He said this with a smile that made his eyes curl up into arcs, "Don't tell anyone I was here, okay? Wouldn't want to get a bad rep."

"Yeah, whatever. Call me, all right?"

"Sure thing."

Naruto coughed when Officer Kakashi left, and went back behind the counter.

_Hey, Officer Kakashi, what should I do . . . about Sasuke?_

* * *

_29. I would love nothing more than to put you back together. Maybe it's the doctor in me, aha, maybe I love knowing where all your pieces go._

* * *

_"You're going to prison next time," Officer Kakashi sighed as he checked his clipboard. He slid Naruto a manila envelope. "Your possessions," he said unnecessarily. Naruto had been arrested enough times, and protocol was nothing but a formality at that point._

_"Officer . . ." Naruto mumbled. "No one believes me. No one even believes this . . . disorder . . . is real."_

_Officer Kakashi exhaled noisily. "I wish you could stay out of trouble. Anyways," he indicated towards the double-doors, where another cop stood by, waiting, "Iruka's out in the lobby. Go home, get some rest."_

_"Do you believe me?"_

* * *

Naruto came home from his classes around 7pm, and Sasuke was lying on the couch, with his headphones on, singing loudly and badly:

_"Oh, well I never _  
_Sever the ties._  
_And fuck forever,_  
_If you don't mind._  
_See, I'm stuck forever,_  
_I'm stuck in your mind, your mind, your mind."_

Yeah, Naruto had heard that song tons of times by then—it was Sasuke's ringtone. He ignored the annoyance that shot through him knowing he heard it when Orochimaru was calling, and instead focused on the small jolt of glee that Sasuke wasn't good at everything. He waved his hand to get the other man's attention.

Sasuke had no shame, like Naruto would have had, and just turned off the music and sat up. He didn't seem fazed that he had been caught warbling.

"Hi," Naruto said, and dropped down into the place made available by Sasuke's repositioning.

"Hey."

"I saw Officer Hatake today."

"Oh."

Naruto sighed. "Uh, look, I don't think he's a bad guy, Sasuke. We should talk to him."

Sasuke squinted at him. "Are you totally fucking stupid?"

"Okay, you need to shut your fucking face. I'm trying to help."

"Well, do me a favor and leave it to your alter-egos."

Well, that was quick. Maybe that's just how it was with them—unable to have normal people conversations. Naruto was about to really jumpstart the seemingly inevitable fight, but Sasuke's eyes caught onto something Naruto couldn't see. He stilled.

"Itachi?" Naruto asked.

"Yes." Sasuke whispered, and he was transfixed on nothing, and Naruto got it, suddenly, and why didn't he get it before? Sasuke . . . was on drugs. Sasuke was a drug user and Orochimaru was, he didn't know, a drug dealer? and nothing was okay, and Uzumaki was right, Sasuke was lost. _Medicine_? Yeah fucking right.

Sasuke must have caught on to the understanding, because with predator speed, he pushed Naruto's shoulders into the couch cushions and started the chant that rendered Naruto a ghost.

* * *

_"This is fucking stupid," Sasuke said, crawling into the open hatch of Naruto's car. Although it wasn't chilly in the sunrise, he pulled a blanket around himself, "If you think you two are badass for skipping the dance and coming here . . ."_

_Sakura snorted. "Says the guy who decided to chauffeur us on our date in the first place." It was so true! For someone who always went on about how he didn't give a shit about their relationship, he sure seemed to gravitate around them a lot._

_Naruto laughed. It wasn't like he didn't believe Sakura when she said she was over Sasuke, like for a whole year now, it was just something else to see it in reality. She didn't fawn over him. Even if Naruto and Sakura hadn't just broken up, that might've killed him._

_Sasuke rubbed under his nose and made some clicking noise with his tongue. "You guys are losers. You think after you graduate, 'real life' begins, which is shit, since 'real life' is always happening. That's why you do gay things like go see the sunrise on prom and act like you're characters in some young adult novel."_

_"Oh really? Does Sasuke know what's up in the world? What are you going to do after you graduate?" Sakura inquired, leaning towards him. Naruto's teeth bared for only one second._

_"Who cares about that shit?"_

_"I do!" Said Naruto, feeling a bit competitive for no reason at all, really, since, yeah, he had already established Sasuke as Not A Threat in his head seconds prior! "I'm going to be a doctor, for sure."_

_Sasuke laughed, and again, harder, when Naruto punched him in the arm. "Fucking still? What is it with you?"_

_"I want to work at a clinic, maybe be a GP?" Sakura said, wrapping her arms around Naruto's. He trembled for a moment, but then relaxed. It was going to be okay._

_"Definitely an emergency room doctor. I know I'll never sleep and never have any free time, but it's the best for me, anyways. I don't like having free time, I mean, like I have so much energy and I want to help people and it's just win-win," said Naruto._

_"You're both going to be doctors? Real cute. You can even have three spoiled kids and send them to private schools and give them those horrible sweet sixteen parties with elephants and rock bands."_

_Yep, Sakura was over Sasuke—she slapped him, and smiled in reply to his gaping mouth. "You're full of douchebag comments today, aren't you?"_

_"Don't be assholes." He said, and he meant them, _Naruto and Sakura_, and that made Naruto shiver, because they were still considered a unit. Of course no one knew yet, but the jolt it gave him left him with goosebumps. "A lot of people don't have their whole fucking lives planned out in high school. I'll probably do some shit with Itachi."_

_"Can't you do anything without Itachi?" Sakura asked, and Sasuke's eyes looked red in the light of the rising sun, like something cruel had sparked to life within him._

_He said, "You'll probably just be knocked up and married to Naruto in a few months, so I wouldn't talk."_

* * *

"Come out, come out, wherever you are. Come out, little one."

* * *

_Sasuke entwined his fingers with Naruto's. He mouthed out something into Naruto's mouth, lips moving but utterly voiceless._

_Naruto laughed and replied. "I love you, too."_

_Naruto swallowed Sasuke's shocked breath._

_"How do you know?" Sasuke squeaked._

_"Hm, I just do."_

_Sasuke frowned like that reply was personally offensive and distasteful to him._

_Naruto kissed him again. "Does Princess Sasuke need me to compliment him and make a list of the thirty things I love about him?" It was an arbitrary number, but he liked it better than ten._

_"Shut the hell up, idiot."_

_"Haha, you totally do! Geez, and you call me a loser!"_

_"You are, and will always be, a loser!"_

* * *

_Saturday, December 31, 2011_

_Happy New Year. My resolution is to . . ._

_Bring Sasuke back from the void._

* * *

_Naruto wiped the blood up, and growled. Sasuke deserved it, deserved way worse._

_Sasuke never knew about the things they experienced in their personal lives because he never asked and didn't give a fuck, and only hovered over them, judgmentally, so it was so not right that he could say something that apt without meaning to and without feeling a thing._

* * *

_Sorry it took me so long to get back to you, Naruto._

Case Number: NAMIKAZE04-1989-07

Hire Date: November 14, 1989

Date Filed: November 21, 1989

I followed the subject around for four (4) days. On the first and second days, he did nothing but usual errands, and was troubling in the least.

On the third day, the subject visited Sound Village, an apartment complex with a reputation for harboring small-time criminals. In the past year, there have been six (6) notable arrests made at aforementioned complex (see supplemental notes). The subject entered an apartment on the second floor, so I, dressed as a delivery man, went up the metal stairs myself. He entered apartment number 230.

I eavesdropped against the door. As expected, without setting up equipment, this was not quite effective, though I recorded a single, repeated name:

Yakushi.

_Sasuke's home, I have to go._

* * *

_27. I wish you didn't ditch me after what happened. I wish that you would still want to read something like this. I wish you knew that it doesn't matter to me what we go through as long as we have each other. I'd happily carry any burden for you._

* * *

_"We're kids."_

* * *

"Uzumaki, you missed this, right?" Sasuke murmured against Naruto's lips. Naruto shivered. "Want me to kiss you?"

Naruto knew Sasuke wouldn't continue without an answer because he was totally unfair all of the time! "Yes," he whispered. He got it.

"I can even do more than that. Want me more than you ever had me?"

Did Sasuke summon him to fool around? _More than that?_ Naruto had never . . . wait, no, yes he had! _Naruto _had, the _real _Naruto. Could he count that for himself as _Uzumaki_? He didn't remember much of it aside from the first fumblings with Sakura, but then, somewhere in the blackness, memories reached out to him with amorphous, jittery limbs.

_"Does it hurt?" Naruto asked, quaking._

_"A little," Sakura admitted, but she was smiling._

"I don't know . . ." Did Naruto get the case file yet? He wanted to hide more under the floorboards, but he was always, _always _with Sasuke.

"Of course you do, darling."

Naruto shuddered.

"Suck, get them all wet." Sasuke said, pushing his middle and ring fingers into Naruto's mouth. Naruto's cheeks burned. He bit the interlopers in surprise, but Sasuke smiled.

_"I feel calm."_

_"God, Gaara, I love you."_

"Feels good, right?" Sasuke asked, moving the fingers slowly. Naruto whined around them. Why would sucking Sasuke's fingers feel good to do? The act itself was relatively innocuous, but . . . he _did _feel good, in his head, in his chest. He curled his legs up.

Naruto was lying on the dining room table and Sasuke was standing over him. Stacks of notebooks were cast aside, spilt onto the floor and chair seats. This was where he awoke. He didn't know how he ended up there.

Sasuke withdrew his fingers, smiling at the saliva amusedly. Sasuke then kissed him, and kissed him, and Naruto broke the trail of spit with a swipe of his tongue.

"So cute. You want me to do more, right?"

"Hmm-hmm," he breathed, and hated it. Was this . . . was he doing wrong by Naruto? No, no, because they were the same, right, and he had always loved Sasuke and wanted it,_ wanted this_.

_"Your hair smells good."_

_Between moans, Naruto gasped, "You're a weirdo, Gaara."_

"Can you handle it, doing adult things?"

Naruto frowned. Of course he could, because _Naruto _could. "Don't patronize me, Sasuke."

"Oh, we're using the big words now, are we?" Sasuke unzipped his fly and even though Naruto wanted it—right? right?—his heart jumped and it ached.

"'Patronize' isn't a big word."

Sasuke paused and pondered him for a second. "Are you scared, Uzumaki?"

Naruto snorted. "I'm not afraid of anything!"

_"I'm coming, oh my God."_

_Naruto pushed himself up and marveled at Sakura, wriggling and sweaty. "Really?" For real? For real? He was making her come for real?!_

_She threw her arms around him gleefully. "Oh my God! Don't stop now, you idiot!"_

_He laughed._

"Good." Sasuke said, and his voice was awful. Flat. He sounded like he absolutely was far away, and that was probably the truth, and Naruto had no idea how to keep him there and grounded and safe forever. Sasuke continued, "I know what I'm doing. Just let me, okay?"

"Okay."

* * *

_"Two Wedding Cake White Mochas," Lady Tsunade said, passing the drinks to Naruto. He took both and mumbled a thanks. He sat in a stool, kicking his orange Converse into the counter distractedly._

_Tsunade sighed. "Look, kiddo, I know you guys are young and have only been dating for what, half a year, but if that test comes back positive, you'll make something work, okay?"_

_Naruto couldn't meet her eyes, so he glanced at her glossy lips instead and nodded. Without meaning to, Lady Tsunade had brought up something that made Naruto feel worse—that he and Sakura hadn't been dating long. It had been five months to be precise, and Naruto didn't know if he was in love with Sakura or if he loved her, full stop, but maybe not like that, and although without a doubt she was the coolest chick he knew, he figured that distinction was important. There would have been no question about his feelings if he were fifteen or sixteen, but at eighteen, everything in his life that had seemed anchored and established felt uprooted and shaken. He sipped his coffee, and watched listlessly as his knuckles turned white when he made and released nervous fists. He looked back towards the bathroom doors when he heard the hinges creak._

_When Sakura came out, face wan, he flung himself at her with enough force to knock the stool over, and squeezed her tightly. She let out a high, hopeless sound, and Tsunade quickly ushered them into the break room._

* * *

"How old are you?" The officer in the back of the car asked. He stroked Naruto's arm comfortingly. Naruto tried to focus on him and only him. There were too many people—_non-people_—around them and it was making him itch.

"I'm twelve," Naruto said. He could answer basic questions, yes, yes, his name was Naruto and he was twelve and yes, he did have his phone number memorized, and he knew his address and had no allergies and . . . "How old are you?"

The officer laughed. "Twenty-six."

Naruto asked "What's your name?"

"I'm Officer Hatake."

Naruto nodded, but then added "I meant your first name."

"Kakashi."

"That's a cool name. Why do you cover your face?"

"Feels better than showing it."

"Oh." That was it. That was all could do then and Naruto had to avoid thinking about the blood and the tightness of the temporary bandages on his cheeks and his mother. He closed his eyes and longed for black but it was only red, roaming, like sunspots. He tried his best to talk to the officer telepathically, pretending he was still thinly connected to the rest of the human populace, but he was adrift, alone. It was a very dark red.

Officer Hatake held the boy in his arms and Naruto had no idea that he had started crying, or wailing, screaming and shaking as the social workers told the people around them okay, it was safe to move him to another facility, he needed to be away from this, he was ready for the hospital proper. He screamed with intention when EMTs tried to pry him out of Officer Hatake's arms, so Officer Hatake walked them both to the ambulance, and got in the back. He held Naruto like the boy was much smaller than twelve.

There were people _everywhere _and Naruto wanted them all to become more visible, more real, and he wanted to just wake up already, but even then he knew he never would. A rage grew inside of him; even crowded and suffocated by strangers, he was the only solid, real thing, trapped under plastic wrap, trying to claw his way to air.

Officer Kakashi didn't complain when Naruto threw up on him, he just bounced the boy up higher in his arms to move him away from the sick. Naruto soaked his shirt.

* * *

_"I'm going to kill this kid," Naruto said, ignoring the social worker to sit uninvited on Officer Kakashi's lap. "The only one who should use this body is me."_

_"And you are?"_

_"Kurama."_

* * *

_"I believe you." Kakashi answered._

* * *

_1. Because, without you in it, my life is desolate._

* * *

Naruto blinked sleepily, awakening after an unforeseen nap, body flat against the table and a couple notebooks that had lodged themselves underneath him. Sasuke was mulling around in the kitchen, shaking, agitated.

Naruto blinked.

Sasuke was holding a sugar cube.

Naruto blinked.

Sasuke slid the sugar cube in a small pile of white powder on the counter.

Naruto blinked.

Sasuke sucked the sugar cube.

Naruto pushed himself up and at Sasuke's raised brow said "Bathroom." Sasuke nodded in acknowledgement, and Naruto made getting up a tedious, languorous thing, until Sasuke had turned his back, and he darted off, grabbing one of the fallen notebooks and taking it with him.

On his hands and knees on the bathroom floor, tears falling fat and uncontrollable, with a dull note-taking pencil in hand, he scribbled a message to Naruto.

* * *

Case Number: NAMIKAZE04-1989-07

Hire Date: November 14, 1989

Date Filed: November 28, 1989

I checked out the black Acura Legend Coupe in the impound lot. It is registered to Obito Uchiha, deceased. The year of the car is 1989, which means it was released two (2) years after Uchiha's death. I questioned Narcotics Detective Fugaku Uchiha, and he was a helpful witness in addition to being related to the deceased. Our conversation is recorded in the included cassette tapes (see attached transcript), and can be paraphrased: a ring of drug traffickers has been using the identities of deceased individuals, likely easily accessed in public forums, to create documents and make large purchases. Detectives are currently investigating the traffickers.

I went to city hall to learn the details of Obito Uchiha's death, only to discover that there was little information available.

I will next investigate various employees of city hall, to ascertain who may be tampering with the records.

_Naruto,_

_This is the only case file in this notebook._

_Sasuke is definitely on something. I saw him take it._

_But . . ._

_I'm so, so sorry. I don't know why something that is supposed to make people feel closer together has made realize how far away I really am from Sasuke. I don't know . . . maybe I wasn't ready for something like that, and I think I only did it because I wanted him to focus on only me for a second, but I know, I know he thought of nothing and no one but himself._

_Naruto, Sasuke and I, we . . ._

* * *

_Tuesday, January 17, 2012_

Naruto had about four hours to kill before needing to head off to class, so he stopped at home.

Sasuke was lying on the couch, getting weepy-eyed at _Breakfast at Tiffany's_, and Naruto was going to keep his new knowledge secret, for a little longer, even if the bile in his throat was burning a hole. The sex, the drugs . . . if Sasuke was going to withhold these things from Naruto and he had to rely on Uzumaki on the sly, then so be it; it might be the only way to truly help Sasuke, who didn't seem to want to be helped at all. He was used to having to tiptoe around the fucker, because Sasuke took everything darkly and seriously. "Another one?" he said, meaning classic movies and Audrey Hepburn, "Nice to see big sister Itachi rubbed off on you."

"Shut up, idiot, and come here. This is my favorite movie."

Naruto dropped down beside him and laughed his ass off. Sasuke's favorite movie was_ Breakfast at Tiffany's_? _Sasuke's _favorite movie was _Breakfast at Tiffany's_? _Sasuke's favorite movie was Breakfast at Tiffany's!_

"You should watch it." Sasuke said, with a snarl like this was serious business. "Ignore the outdated and offensive bits."

"All hipsters have, like, this obsession with Audrey Hepburn. That, and indies bands."

"Naruto, quiet. Anyone can hang up a Warhol print and think they're a genius. I like my movies and music because, through all the shit there is out there, I found the few gems. It's like I'm gold panning in a river of shit just to find things that speak to me. It takes effort." _To be as cool as me_, Naruto helpfully finished the sentiment in his head.

Naruto then rolled his eyes, but watched a movie about a lonely, sick person trying to find happiness with high class distraction, and Naruto got it, and didn't even make fun of when Sasuke moved his lips to the lyrics of "Moon River."

He would figure something out, about their situation, but he needed help.

* * *

_Saturday, January 21, 2012_

_Hey beautiful,_

_How is it that after all this, you still don't ask the right fucking questions? All you do is whine like a little bitch, like, _tell me things, Sasuke!_ or sit in sorrow and lament your lack of understanding. You haven't looked up anything. You haven't learned a thing. You're a waste of a fucking body, and seriously, I'm going to take over completely someday so the world doesn't have to suffer you living._

* * *

"You seem down lately." Sakura noted.

Naruto stopped wiping the counter, and pushed his face into the newly wet surface. "Sakura, why are you so awesome? You catch on to everything."

She giggled and came up behind him, rubbing his back. "It's about Sasuke, right? Can you tell me about it?"

"I don't know yet." Naruto groaned.

She was quiet for a moment, then said, "How about a reenactment?"

"What?"

"They're plastic bottles, they won't break!" Sakura indicated the cardboard box of syrup bottles they were to take out to recycling after they were done with closing procedures.

"Reenact what movie?" he asked.

"_Coyote Ugly_, of course," Sakura spun a bottle in her hand and it was pretty impressive. "Okay, so I know this is stupid, and I never even really liked that movie, but it really made me want to be able to do the cool tricks with bottles they do."

Naruto laughed.

"Stay bright, okay?" Sakura plugged her iPod into the café's speaker, and after a second, Def Leppard was playing, and she was on the counter, on her feet, reaching a hand out to him. She beamed. She looked like her namesake: something that bloomed.

He took her hand. "Okay."

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

Chapter Tracklist:

**Of Monsters and Men** - Love Love Love  
**DJ Snake featuring Alesia** - Bird Machine  
**Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell** - Ain't No Mountain High Enough  
**NICO Touches the Walls** - Diver  
**Babyshambles** - Fuck Forever  
**Audrey Hepburn** - Moon River  
**The Shins** – Simple Song  
**Skrillex featuring Krewella** – Breathe  
**Def Leppard **- Pour Some Sugar on Me


End file.
